


i think we could do it if we tried

by nihilisum



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crying, Dream Smp, GEORGE AND SAP HAVE EACH OTHER !!!, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Sapnap Deserves Better, Unrequited Love, george calls him baby and idiot and dumbarse hehe, poor depiction of a panic attack but i t r i e d, sort of idk, that should totally be an official tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:15:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27924400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nihilisum/pseuds/nihilisum
Summary: "it's not true! dream's coming home, george!"they couldn't keep doing this anymore."he's gonna come home and we'll be happy!"he couldn't keep this from sapnap any longer.sapnap was hit with whiplash as george grabbed his hands by the wrists and pulled him away from his face, taking him by his shoulders and giving his body a firm shake."snap out of it, you idiot!" he barked, watching painfully as the darkness in sapnap's eyes begin to swirl again.hurt replaced his false hope, and george felt sick to his stomach at the appearance of it, at the way his eyes wobbled like a starved puppy dog's, the way his lips began to tremble like winter had bitten at them. george wanted to swallow the words on his tongue and kiss the hurt away, but he knew that it was the end of the road for any of that.sapnap opened his mouth to protest again.he had to do it. george had no other choice.sapnap didn't get the pleasure of doing so."dream has never loved you the way he's loved me!"or the one where george and sapnap suffer from heartbreak in each other's arms.
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), GeorgeNotFound/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 40
Kudos: 341





	i think we could do it if we tried

**Author's Note:**

> i'll proof read this at some point

george's heart dropped from his throat back down to his chest as a shot of relief pierced its shell, the familiar shade he had trained his colour blurred eyes to memorise catching his attention. he raced on ahead, through the open doorway of the community house, and staggered up the stairs, his haste so strong he almost missed a step.

he looked around when at the top and finally, his heart could rest.

"sapnap...!" he exclaimed breathlessly, spotting the boy tucked away in the corner of the top floor and approaching him. "don't do that to me again, you dumbarse! you had me worried sick!"

george shoved his shoulder, but the boy didn't uncurl himself and return the shove to his jaw, unfairly harder, like the older male thought he would. in fact, he didn't move a muscle on his own accord at all. he stayed perfectly still, as if george hadn't yelled at him or touched his body even slightly. 

alarm fulfilled george once more. sapnap wasn't okay, and he knew this for a fact because he hadn't hit him at least ten times with his flame bow, hadn't chased him out of the house, hadn't pinned him to the floor by his wrists and waist and demanded a sincere apology, to which george would not give because they were both just as stubborn as each other. that didn't happen, and for the first time george hated that sapnap hadn't struck him back.

george dropped slowly to the floor beside him and gently tugged the netherite helmet off of sapnap's head. his hair was a mess underneath, just as it always was, so george brushed a hand through it.

"sapnap," he said, digging blunt nails lovingly into his scalp. "sapnap, please look at me. are you hurt?" he waited and watched patiently, for even the slightest of movements, though when sapnap showed no response or hint that he was even hearing george's words, the elder took it upon himself to uncurl the boy for him.

he let the hand in his hair fall from his head and breached his locked arms, the pads of his fingers making contact with his round cheek. a spark of hope lit inside of george as sapnap moved at the touch, only slightly for a moment, before he seemed to snap out of whatever trance he had been in and pressed his cheek into george's palm, lifting his head compliantly.

george watched him closely.

the younger boy kept his eyes shut, and imitated a touch starved kitten, nuzzling into the warmth of george's hand and humming briefly at the comfort it brought him. a thought like candlelight, george couldn't help but wonder how such a pretty boy like sapnap had fallen into his hands, spying each brushstroke that laid across his cheeks, thin, though dark and fine and looking like they belonged in a painting. he shifted his thumb, stroking beneath his eye, and responding promptly to his yearning for touch.

he looked so suddenly at peace that george didn't want to make any confrontations, didn't want to disrupt him or make him fall from his cloud, but he knew that he couldn't leave the wool over sapnap's eyes, that it was his duty as his counterpart to make all the truths already revealed clearer to him. it was a possibility, to simply take sapnap back to their home and put him to sleep, promise that tomorrow would be better, but they would only be kidding themselves, and they would have to sleep for eternities for tomorrow to truly be nice to them.

there were only so many times george could reassure the younger, but this was not a time for such false affirmations. it was time they confronted reality and stopped gazing through their pairs of rose tinted glasses.

"sapnap," george whispered softly, shuffling closer. "could you look at me?"

sapnap opened his eyes, and george wanted to cry, shove the pink lenses back on and keep pretending. george was foolish, so laughably foolish, to think his heart could ever rest while they laid in this corrupt, dishonourable land.

it frightened george, how bleak and lifeless sapnap's eyes looked, for the boy was always rearing with a fire inside of them. they were dark and low, two ships sunken in defeat, with no chance of rising back up to the surface.

his hand faltered against his cheek as sapnap blinked slowly, his eyes seeming to look closer at him.

 _no_ , george thought, _no_ , _no_ , _no_ , he continued in a panic. this wasn't sapnap at all. it wasn't the boy who always messed with george with mischievous sparkles in his eyes, annoying, but all the more endearing. it wasn't the boy who came around for supper with his fists banging over the tabletop, giddy for some of george's cooking after a long day of running around the lands terrorizing its inhabitants. it wasn't the same sapnap who had an unmatched passion for living, who had always burned brighter than any flame known to man.

now, it looked like those twin flames had been pinched away by cruel, unmerciful fingers, and all that was left were two desolate piles of ash that could be blown away into nothing if the day so much as breathed.

"sapnap.." said george, heartbreak on his lips.

"it's a lie, isn't it, george?" sapnap's voice wasn't his either. george was so used to being woken up by his incessant yelling or disturbed by his loud rambling about whatever it was he was passionate about, that it was unnerving to hear his words uttered out so quietly. "you'll take me to bed, and-... and when we wake up, it will all have been a dream, right, george?"

george furrowed his eyebrows, his heart aching. he wanted to do it so bad, he wanted to make all these promises and feed sapnap sweet lies, but they had already gone so far that sugar coated words wouldn't do them any good anymore.

"dream... dream will be there too," sapnap added, his voice beginning to sound as if he were trying to convince himself. "yeah," he nodded. "yeah! and we'll have bread, and pie, and, and... we'll all be happy!"

george had to ground himself, for he liked the sound of that too, wanted to divulge in it. sapnap would jump on his bed until he woke up, and he would toss and turn and groan in contempt, try and push him away, but it wouldn't work. then, sapnap would threaten him with kisses and george would jump right out, grumbling while sapnap laughed wickedly behind him. they'd go downstairs and dream would already be at the table with breakfast plated. eating together, sapnap would steal from george's plate, they would start bickering and dream would add to both of their plates from his own breakfast. 

everything would be right. they'd be living in peace, although blissfully unaware, but it would be enough for them. sapnap's eyes would be bright, his voice loud, and george would be annoyed at him until the end of time, but he'd love him for just as long either way.

george closed his eyes for a moment and pushed the scenarios away, before he looked at sapnap's distressed expression again and forced his heart to stay together.

"you know that can't happen anymore, sapnap," he said as docile as he could, his hand still caressing his cheek.

"what do you mean? it can, george!" sapnap unfolded and sat cross legged, taking the hand off of his cheek and keeping it in his. "dream didn't mean us! of course, he didn't! we- we matter to him more than anything!"

dream's words had snapped throughout all of l'manberg, shooting up into the sky, piercing each of the clouds looming above, and then dropping back down to echo cruelly in every crevice of sapnap and george's mind.

 _i don't give a fuck about anything_ , the echoes whispered as george and sapnap looked at each other.

 _i care about your disc_ , they taunted, george's head dropping in pain, his hand squeezing at sapnap's.

 _that's the only thing i care about_ , the echoes chanted menacingly, sapnap squeezing back, his head dropping too.

"we can't." george croaked, voice strained. he didn't want to cry. he couldn't afford to. he pushed forward, their foreheads tipped and pressed together. "sapnap, we can't stay here. we can't stay with dream anymore."

sapnap whimpered. he was starting to break, no matter how much he was trying to keep it in. the whimpers were broken, strained, and that was what hurt george more. he shook his head in defiance of reality, shaking against george's, and cried, "no! it's not true! it's not!"

"sapnap-"

"it's not true...!"

"sap-"

"he cares about me... right?"

"listen-!"

"he didn't mean it...! he didn't mean that he doesn't care about us!"

"sapnap, listen to me!"

"dream loves us...! he loves us! he's coming right now to tell us that it'll be okay!" sapnap looked up and reached up to take george's face in his hands. he laughed unnervingly, and continued.

it wasn't right.

"we're just being stupid, right?"

george couldn't take it.

"we're being dumb! this is all a bit!"

it was all a lie.

"it's not true! dream's coming home, george!" 

they couldn't keep doing this anymore.

"he's gonna come home and we'll be happy!"

he couldn't keep this from sapnap any longer.

sapnap was hit with whiplash as george grabbed his hands by the wrists and pulled him away from his face, taking him by his shoulders and giving his body a firm shake.

"snap out of it, you idiot!" he barked, watching painfully as the darkness in sapnap's eyes begin to swirl again.

hurt replaced his false hope, and george felt sick to his stomach at the appearance of it, at the way his eyes wobbled like a starved puppy dog's, the way his lips began to tremble like winter had bitten at them. george wanted to swallow the words on his tongue and kiss the hurt away, but he knew that it was the end of the road for any of that. 

sapnap opened his mouth to protest again.

he had to do it. george had no other choice.

sapnap didn't get the pleasure of doing so.

"dream has never loved you the way he's loved me!"

mismatched eyes stared into glossy obsidians. silence, save for the gushes of wind that came by, making the dark oak trees brush against each other. bile burned at the back of his throat as sapnap's face dropped completely, an evil, unrelenting shadow engulfing his visage and taking away any breath of happiness. he froze, sat completely still, and it was though george was holding a corpse with how cold it suddenly felt, cold, and loveless, and so overbearing george thought he might just vomit right then and there.

"what did you.. what did you just say?"

george wanted to take it back, tell sapnap he was loved very much, and he almost did. he faltered for a second before he squeezed sapnap's shoulders and forced himself to spit out more bitter truths.

"dream." panic was beginning to settle in george as he watched sapnap's eyes fill and fill, until they were overflowing with his tears. "dream," he repeated firmly, closing his eyes and charging forward with his will power. "he's always treated you different, and- and you've known that."

sapnap shook his head. "i don't know what you're saying, george."

"you do!" george persisted desperately. "in dream's eyes, you and me were different! he never loved you as much as he loved me, and you know it, sapnap, you know it's true!"

"no..."

there was no running.

"no...!"

they couldn't keep pretending like everything was okay.

sapnap's rolling tears became harsher and harsher as he shook his head uncontrollably, his shoulders shaking upwards and the hands in his lap trembling in ascension, seeking to be held, to be kissed and squeezed, to be reassured. his brunette locks bounced with his movements, and droplets of his heartache caught between the brushstroke eyelashes, making him painfully beautiful now. 

he hated it, despised it, knowing that he was at fault for creating the tears, for being the push that had them rolling down his innocent cheeks that were only meant to smile in glee. he hated that he spelled heartbreak over his face, hated the burning of his throat, of the toxic waste he had spewed. he hated that he had no choice, hated that he couldn't have done better, perhaps tried to change the outcome, convince dream to truly love him, but there was no way he could have done so. the effort would have been futile; george knew you couldn't force feelings. 

"dream loves me! he cares for me! he-! he used to say it every night!"

"he doesn't love you anymore, sapnap!" george yelled, his tone having not a single ounce of mercy. if he was going to get through to the boy, he couldn't keep sugarcoating things. "if he loved you, he wouldn't have said what he did. if he loved you, he would have stopped lying to you ages ago!"

george's eyes were burning, so he squeezed them shut, so tightly that it felt as though dainty little needles were poking him all along his eyeline.

"if he really loved you, he wouldn't tell you it every night and not mean it, you idiot!" he yelled, shoving sapnap back, pressing his shoulder blades into the wall and opening his eyes to glare fiercely at his wide, shocked eyes. he couldn't succumb, he wouldn't. "if he loved you like he loved me, he wouldn't leave you out, he wouldn't sneak around with me, he wouldn't kiss me more, touch me more..! sapnap, open your eyes, please!" he wanted to throw up. "stop lying to yourself! it's over now!"

sapnap felt empty, until everything started dwindling, until he fell back into the rabbit hole and kept falling, and falling, and falling, never meeting the ground.

"george..?" like a smashed piano, sapnap spoke. "did i do something to you?" he continued, hiccups interrupting him. "why are you purposely... hurting me...?" 

the tears kept rolling, and now his upper lip glistened. normally, george would think it was gross, yell at him even for getting too close with his nose running like that, but george was too sad to care now, too pierced at the heart to mind. he could even feel his own nose running, tears slowly forming at the corners of his small, crescent like eyes.

he shook his head, retreated from his shoulders and took the both of sapnap's hands in his, holding them between them. "i'm sorry," he croaked defeatedly. "i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i-!"

"how?!" he cried, not understand any of it, not wishing to either. "it was always me and dream, always! always!" sapnap shrieked, his shaking palms turning into shaking fists. "you came in late! i knew him first! we were best friends first!" he yelled, the tears at the corners of his eyes bouncing off of his lashes staining his netherite, making it glisten as the sun began to set. "it doesn't...! make any sense...! he was supposed to love me...! the most!"

george took the weak punches to his chest plated shoulder, accepting the way they nudged him back little by little. he accepted sapnap's cruel words, took them to the heart without a shield to defend himself. he knew that sapnap loved him just as much as he loved dream, knew that he didn't mean to hurt him, but he took the words like daggers anyway, to satisfy him, to make him feel as though his pain was being accounted for in some way. 

"you cant-!"sapnap sobbed, shaking his head once more, his entire body trembling. "just say that-!" he yelled, coughing as his throat felt like it was holding an anvil between its narrow walls. "and say-! say sorry!" his breathing shallowed, the boy now panting desperately for air and alarming george again. "george-!" he cried between a gasp, looking for hope in his blue and brown orbs, and breaking down when he spied dread and everything cold.

george straightened up and blinked his tears away. "sapnap...!"

 _dream has never loved you the way he's loved me_. the blood in sapnap's head pounded at his ears, his heart thundered in his chest for a release from all the pain, his hands shook as they were receiving non stop a thousand voltage shocks, and his vision of george multiplied; one, two, three, four, and then decreased; four, three, two, one.

 _i don't give a fuck about anything._ his head was spinning, the walls of the community house went this way and that, as if warped by a portal, and all he could do was cry harder, gasp harder, while his chest fought like a soldier to let him breathe.

 _that's the only thing i care about_. pins and needles, the sudden fulfillment of all of his emptiness, nausea, a wrenching film reel of all of the memories he had with dream - building their land while telling the stories of their shared childhood, exploring while dream scolded him for all of his mistakes, forgetting to pick up gravel, wondering off for too long, until eventually they would settle in a nearby cave, or in one of the villager houses, and dream would whisper him sweet words until he fell asleep. every moment in which their heart beats intertwined suddenly meant nothing. he and dream, they had flatlined, and there was nothing, absolutely nothing, that he could do about it.

"sapnap!" george yelled, wiping his own tears and forgetting his own pain. his own aching heart could wait. "sapnap, you need to stop," he choked out, holding the gasping boy in his arms. "you're going to hurt yourself..! please...!"

 _shit_ , george thought, biting his bottom lip. he had only ever heard of sapnap's panic attacks from dream, so he had never experienced one before. dream had advised him on what to do if there were ever a situation where he wasn't there, but george never thought for a moment the two of them would be alone together.

"breathe!" he exclaimed, pressing his hands onto his cheeks.

no response.

"sapnap, please, listen to me!" it might have been wrong, for george to be yelling at him, but he never was good as dealing with other people's emotions. "i can't do this by myself...!" he begged, pleaded, wishing to take a hold of sapnap who had always helped communicate his own feelings. he couldn't do it alone, he needed sapnap with him more than the boy would ever know. "i know i pretend like nothing bothers me, but i don't think i can be strong for the both us...!"

gasp, after gasp, until finally they started to slow, and sapnap looked at him through the murky puddles of his eyes.

george thanked the forces above for the chance. he sniffled, brought his hands up to his eyes to wipe them for a moment, before he levelled his gaze onto sapnap, focusing fully on lifting him up again.

"sapnap, baby, you can see way more colours than me, remember?" he laughed bitterly after those round, vulnerable eyes focused on him. he cradled his cheek and leaned forward. "my eyes. what are they? can you tell me?"

sapnap looked, gasping softly, as if george had finally grasped his hand and pulled him above the surface, though water still clogged in his lungs.

he thought for a moment that he had won, but sapnap flinched away, and oh, how it broke george's heart.

"it's me, remember? it's your gogy," he said sadly, even pronouncing it the way sapnap always had, different to everyone else. "i'm not here to hurt you," he added, reaching for him again.

"gogy," sapnap whispered through a shuddering breath. not four of them, not three, not two, just one. one george, sat before him, holding him close. "blue," he murmured, the colours clear to him. "'n' brown. blue 'n' brown."

"yeah," george smiled. it was broken, forced, as if tugged up by strings. "you did it," he laughed, tears rolling down his face. "good boy, sapnap...!" 

george took him in his arms completely, wrapping his arms around his shaking body and caressing his hair. "remember all those times you've chased me around l'manberg and not left me alone?" a hand on his back rubbed up and down in firm yet soft motions, and he simply existed beside him. "remember, sap, when i went fishing, and i caught a big one, and suddenly you were in my lap?" george laughed softly into his hair. "you got me all wet, idiot," he murmured, recalling the few days before their lives had turned to hell.

soon, blood seemed to disperse from sapnap's head, his throat unlocked, and finally, his chest danced gracefully up and down, and he could breathe again.

he had fallen, and fallen, and fallen, and landed right into george's warm, loving arms.

"now that we only have each other, we have to fight less, sapnap, okay?" george mumbled, squeezing him tight. "i know you like messing with me, but dream was always the mediator, and we don't have that anymore. if we want to survive, we gotta stick together, 'kay?"

sapnap moved. his hair brushed against george's chin. "okay, george," he croaked. his voice had faded, all of his strength gone with the sun.

george uneasily smiled. "now, now," he said, trying to put on a playful tone. "we don't have to go as far as that. go on. call me a moron."

sapnap looked up at him, chin digging into george's chest. he sniffled, his eyebrows furrowed, and he muttered soullessly, "you moron..."

yeah. that was more like it.

"keep going. i know you got more in you for me than that."

sapnap sniffled harder, his eyebrows following. he glared up at george and added, "stupid idiot... nimrod... butt face..."

"butt face?" george laughed quietly. "that's a new one."

"yeah, 'cos your face looks like a butt," he mumbled, knocking his head into the exposed bit of george's chest, where his armour didn't meet.

he had gotten sapnap to stop crying and to calm down, but he knew that everything wasn't better. it wouldn't be, not for a long, long time, and george wasn't sure if a quiet sapnap was better than a crying one either.

the only sources of light were the torches that were scattered around the top floor and the sky as the sun had dipped below the horizon and the moon had come up to listen to their melancholies and wallow in the same symphony. george wondered really, if there was a man in the moon, for he always found the moonlight to wrap him up and kiss him whenever he needed it the most.

as lovely as the night was, the creatures loomed at the darkest hours, and they needed to leave as soom as possible.

"sapnap, can you stand up for me?" he asked gently. "i'm sure sam's supper is still warm."

he had flicked the switch, for sapnap was almost robotic with the way he detached himself so easily from george. phsycial affection had never been george's love language, though since the moment sapnap entered his life, he had gotten used to his sudden back hugs and suffocating sequence of kisses. he had tried to adapt to giving as well as taking, so to feel sapnap peel away so easily made george's stomach curl with anxiety.

"let's go," he said, and his eyes were just as empty as before. he grabbed his netherite helmet and armed himself with his matching axe. "we'd better hurry back."

george wasn't comforted in the slightest, but he picked himself up anyway and began the long journey back to their secondary home with sam.

it was early december, but the cold felt more from their aching hearts rather than the weather itself. they coursed through the shadows of the village, and the whole time, george couldn't keep his eyes off of the younger boy, so worried that he would do something he wouldn't be able to predict.

when they ran into roaming mobs, it was sapnap who jumped forward and took the role of protecting their paths, and it frightened george, the way he fought. when it came to battle, sapnap fought hard and passionately, charging in like a flesh hungry maniac though with the skill and coordination of a combat master. he had as many flaws as he had strengths, but now, he fought quietly, almost silently, striking his enchanted axe with brute force, one by one, taking every monster down, and moving on without a second glance at their corpses. 

george knew it was dream who had watched sapnap grow up into the boy he was today, though it pained him to see dream's moves mirrored in sapnap's. he did it naturally, george was sure the younger didn't even notice when he replicated them.

they made it home before midnight, sam welcoming them at the door. he looked between them with sorrow in his eyes, for all the of the land had heard dream's words, from himself, or from the word spreading across the hills and skies. george gave sam a tired smile and accepted his hug awkwardly, and squeezed his shoulder when sapnap brushed passed him, promising that it was nothing personal. sam, kind as he was, reassured him that he understood and that it was okay, and encouraged them to wash up and come to eat at the table.

they ate in silence, not including the clatter of the cutlery and the occasional sniffles coming from sapnap. eating didn't seem to matter, for neither of the boys could taste anything on their tongue. the soup tasted cold, even if sam never had a fault in his cooking, and the bread felt like rubber on their tongues, even if it was soft and fluffy and to die for. nothing could fulfill the dream shaped void they felt inside of them.

when it was time to go to bed, george watched sapnap's back as he walked to his room and shut the door behind him, not giving george a second glance. he thought it was best to leave him alone for a while, even if it pained him to shut his own bedroom door without sapnap attached to him.

he took his goggles off of his head and placed them on the bedside table. he sat on his bed, finally alone, and let the dam get flooded open, his tears finally dropping slowly from his eyes. everything hurt - dream being so far away from them in all aspects, having to make sapnap cry the way that he did, barely saving him from his spiral into his own mind, and not being sure of the future.

he was completely powerless. he had so little control over what was happening that all he could do was cry about it, collect his tears in the heels of his palms and think about how things could have gone differently if only fate was kind.

george was so caught up in letting himself go that he didn't notice the knock that resonated against his door, and only when he caught the glimpse of movement at the corner of his eye did he realise that sapnap hadn't really gone to bed.

he looked up through his sore eyes and saw the same tears rolling down his own face across from him. there sapnap stood, between the doorway, his pillow tucked beneath his arm and his blanket wrapped around his shoulders. he wasn't wearing his bandana, his long hair falling perfectly around his head, and he was clad in his nightwear, looking as cute as a sad little button.

george felt endeared again, and immediately, without sharing a word between them, he smiled pathetically and opened his arms.

as defiant as he was to touch, george found himself leaning in for more from sapnap, blowing out the lanterns and pulling the boy down with him onto his bed. he held him tightly, the hands grasping at his clothes tightening, aching to keep him in his arms forever. he sobbed audibly into his shoulder, and sapnap did the same, and for just that moment they basked in the peace of letting everything all out.

"georgie," sapnap cried. "i'm scared."

"scared of... scared of what?"

sapnap whimpered and dug his face into the side of george's. his lips were chapped and dry against his ear. 

"you can tell me," he said softly, bunching the material of his top up harder. 

"scared that you don't love me... the same way you love dream." george squeezed his eyes shut just as he squeezed sapnap in his arms, his heart breaking all over again. "scared that _everything_ was a lie. do you love me the way i love you, george? was i just in the way of you and dream?" he choked out another sob and shook his head. "i just-... i just don't know anymore, and i'm so tired, so, so tired of being the second choice! the replacement, and-! and the third wheel, and i feel so stupid because-! because everyone knew it, that dream didn't love me as much, even i did, but i just kept hoping and hoping and-!"

fresh tears traced the trails of old ones, burning the scars over george's cheeks again. he hated it, hated hearing sapnap's voice, his stutters and whimpers, without the confidence and brashness special to him.

"karl and alex were right," sapnap whispered. he was broken completely, and george wasn't sure if he could fix him back together again at all. "i really was just an eye sore..."

george couldn't see a future with dream anymore, but he could see one with sapnap. he could see one where he was more tolerant of the boy, accepting him into his bed in the early mornings, wrestling with him until he inevitably found himself pinned down because sapnap was much buffer than he was. 

george closed his eyes, sent the tears away, and smiled hopefully, "i do love you, sapnap. more than you'll ever know."

he could see them eating breakfast together, sapnap picking from his plate like usual, the two breaking out into battle with their cutlery and then getting out of their seats to chase each other around the house. 

sapnap lifted himself up and looked down at him. his eyes were coated, sore and red, but he shook them away too. 

he could see them playfighting without dream in the middle to resolve it, until one came on top and the other gave in, leading to a much steamier outcome than either had expected.

"do you mean it, georgie? you're not lying like dream, are you?" 

he could envision the quiet moments, where sapnap needed a nap to restore the energy he lost. he saw them in the same position, with sapnap laying over his chest, and george's fingers getting entangled in his hair.

"no, baby, and i'll keep saying it. i'm going to love you forever, okay? love you until the end of time, and i'll say it just as much until you learn to believe me," he mumbled, closing his eyes, taking the younger by the cheek and pulling him down. 

he could feel the wounds over his lips when sapnap would come home from messing around with tommy, and tubbo, and the other l'manberg kids, he could feel the scolds on the tip of his tongue as he bandaged him up, and he could feel the warmth in his heart when sapnap would smile up at him cheekily and promise not to do it again, even though they both knew that he most definitely would. 

the kiss was emotional more than anything, desperate and needy, longing almost, of anything other than the pain and emptiness of their loss. george's hand shifted from his back up to his hair, digging in and tugging gently, just the way he knew sapnap liked it, and sapnap's tongue slipped through his lips and touched his own. they could both taste the salt of the other's tears as they kept coming and coming, seeming unstoppable in their paths down their faces.

it was wet and messy when sapnap pulled away, licking away the spit trail and swallowing. his eyes were hardly open, tired and sore, as he murmured, "you promise?"

"i promise," george smiled, and took another kiss from his lips.

george knew it would take a long time for the both of them to get used to the absence of their third, but he knew they could do it if they had each other.

"you're enough for me, sap. you always will be, idiot."

**Author's Note:**

> twt @nihilisums :] !!  
> kudos & comments are welcomed...  
> and ENCOURAGED! pls <3 idk about my angst writing LOL


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